Silence is GOOOOOOOOOAAAAALLLLDEN!!!!!!!!

I go to a lot of movies. I even go by myself sometimes. I like seeing them on the big screen and I almost always buy collector's editions. Have a conversation with me and I will unwittingly throw in a reference or classic quote from some movie. Although I do not consider myself to be a sports fan, I have been to a number of sporting events. That being said there is a big difference between the movies and sports. Most notably is the behavior of attendees. Before anything starts it's quite similar. You're with friends or family. You buy a ticket. You buy overpriced snacks that taste bad. You sit down in your seat and try to take both arm rests before you're left without either. The floor is sticky and gross. And you know you'll be there for the next three hours.

Once things get underway however, movies and sports become polar opposites. The silver screen has a hypnotic power over the audience. The theater is the only place where you can take a random crowd and they will graciously sit still and be quiet for hours. This makes me question the importance of seeing a movie as a group. You're not going to talk to your friends during the movie. You really only want to talk to them after it's over. You could see the movie separately and meet up for dinner later.

Sports on the other hand are completely different. At a game it is guaranteed that a complete stranger will yell in your face. Instead of being quiet, you are encouraged to shout and participate in chants. Day-ay-o! In fact you should make as much of a raucous as possible to demonstrate how committed to your team you are. Nobody wears face paint to see Shrek.

I guess it goes back to the ancient traditions. Movies are modern day opera and sports are modern day gladiators. Order vs. chaos. White collar vs. blue collar. I'm sure it would be inappropriate to bring a spear to see Medea. Don't believe me? Watch the commercials. Movies advertise performances by the Met. Sports: bad beer.

College = Money "Well" Spent

Reminiscing about college, I had a great experience. It is and always will be an excellent highlight of my life. Now I could write about something cliche such as how I found myself in college, or discovered the true value of things. But for you Internet, I want to talk about some more important observations. For example, something I learned early on in college was that girls are magicians. Hear me out. Every girl in every class I ever took did not have a backpack or messenger back for carrying books. No they had a large handbag or purse. Somehow the girl next to me managed to fit every book, notebook, laptop and laptop charger, binder, pen, pencil, eraser, highlighter, stapler, hole punch, etc. in her purse along with everything else that she normally keeps in her purse (wallet, make up, love letters to me). Not only did an extreme amount of stuff fit, it fit neatly, and with extra space. Meanwhile, I'm lugging around a messenger back the size of Santa's toy sack and stuff is stilling falling out. We both have the same supplies (I actually have less), so we should require the same amount of space. Right? Wrong! Logically, I must conclude that the girl next to me cast a spell to enchant her purse allowing it infinite carrying volume.

Another observation I would like to share is about fraternities. They are the quintessential part of the college experience and anyone who did not belong to one seriously missed out on a grand opportunity. Psych! If you belong or belonged to a frat/sorority, stop reading so your feelings aren't hurt. They're great for people who can't make friends. I think I'm capable of socializing without joining Kappa Gamma Psi Alpha Delta Beta Omega Epsilon Theta. It always seemed strange to me, you pay them to be your friends. If these people need monetary incentive to be nice, how friendly can they really be? Just saying. Outside of the sorority/fraternity paying someone for the pleasure of their company can be a criminal offense. I guess that makes sororities and fraternities the pimps of college relations.

8-bit Thief

I grew up playing Nintendo and GameBoy with Super Mario Bros. Super Mario is not my favorite classic video game, but it is really fun and easily the most well known game world wide. Most everyone can recognize the mustached guy in the red hat and his killer theme song. The game is a simple side-scroller. Run, jump, collect coins. Next level, run, jump, collect coins. It seems like all the mobile games are ripping off Super Mario Bros. I've played half a dozen mobile games all based on the same mechanic. Run, jump, collect coins. I wonder if the creator of Super Mario feels like others are stealing his idea. The only thing missing is the catchy theme music. 

Confessions of a stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf herder.

Internet I must confess that I am hopelessly nerdy. Odds are if it is some cult classic or geeky subculture, I am part of it. Or at the very least, I have heard of it. Now let me clarify for the commoner, on behalf of all my fellow nerds, two important subjects. Numero uno: Yes, there is a difference between Star Wars and Star Trek and Lord of the Rings and Doctor Who and Superman and Batman and every other geekdom. Numero dos: Being a fan of one does not mean I am a fan of the others. I could talk all day about Star Wars or Batman or Tron, but I have never seen an episode of Stargate or Doctor Who and am clueless about which anime is currently popular. So if you know any nerds make sure you ask them about their personal domain. They can get testy if you mix stuff up.

That being said, it is exhausting being a sci fi fan. There's always some new movie or book to read. Otherwise you get left behind and they revoke your official fan club card. (Trust me you don't want to lose it.) Another secret about sci fi and comics is that not only are there numerous characters and stories, but also numerous universes with the same characters. Luckily the internet is full of all this useless information to keep track of all the parallel realities. (Thank you, people who post on Wikis.) Even still it can be tiresome keeping up appearances. Whenever a new movie comes out you're expected to see it, even if you don't really want to see it. And Hollywood knows this. In order to enjoy the one you really want to see, you have to see the other 10 movies in the franchise. Several hours later we try and pass it off like we actually liked the others even though they sucked. It wasn't that bad. It was okay. Anyone else feel me? No? Even if it is garbage and the nerds complain about how it betrays canon, they see it anyways.

Science fiction often has a way of becoming science fact. Where's my hover board Matel? I try and follow whatever the latest tech trend is. (People still use Betamax right?) Cool as the future is going to be though, I am worried about when it moves so fast that I either can't keep up or go broke from buying some new gadget every 10 days. Maybe there's an app for that.

Well this turned out to be the longest post so far. Congrats on reading it all. If you'll excuse me I have to go read the comic that became a cartoon that became a video game that is soon to be a movie.